i've been out shopping. but i can't find this one thing that i know would give meaning to my life. i've bought shoes, clothes, blings, bags and everything which i thought were worth my money. these were the things i thought would make me happy. it did, actually. but was it the joy that could last years? no. it gave me the two-hour high i needed to get away from rage and depression. it was my emotional outlet. sometimes, when i fail an important exam, i go straight to the mall and window shop. or, more often, purchase something which i really don't need naman. now, i don't feel right. it's like i'm becoming this carefree, irresponsible shopaholic who's wasting too much of everything--- time, cash and opportunities.

i'm 17 years old, turning 18 two months from today. i won't be as young and as happy-go-lucky as i am now 15 years forward. i want to know my purpose. bakit ako nandito? what do i have to contribute to this world? oo, bata pa nga ako at dapat mag-enjoy lang muna. but even if i AM having fun, meron pa ring emptiness. at the end of the day, i sit silently on my bed and think, "May kulang pa."

siguro the meaning that i am searching for is LOVE. sabi nga ni Ms. Santizo, theology prof, kanina, "Love is the answer." it's not the love that i've been depressing over kasi single pa rin ako since birth! but love as in COMPASSION. baka sa pagtulong ko sa ibang mas nangangailan, eh makahanap ako ng true happiness.

during an unexpected event, i met Joey Velasco. i do not know him nor does he know me. pero i felt a certain connection between him and me when i saw his paintings and a video on the story behind his famous work "Hapag ng Pag-asa". it was a warm saturday morning. my blockmates and i went to the Beato Building of the UST college of fine arts and design. pagkapasok namin, i noticed this huge canvass of magnificent art na parehas ng concept with Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper. but instead of grown men, twelve underfed children were sitting beside Christ.



from the video that we saw, this 9-year-old boy who was actually one of the children in Hapag interpreted Velasco's painting.

guy behind the camera: "Bakit niyo katabi si Kristo?"
boy: "Anu yan.. Nakita namin siya sa kalye na naglalakad, mukhang pagod na pagod tapos inaya namin siya."
guy behind the camera: "Inaya niyo? Tapos anu nangyari?"
boy: "Pinakain namin siya tapos pinainom."

i was sooo touched by what he said that i got goosebumps on my arms and legs. they saw Christ, thirsty, hungry and tired, and they, without hesitation, called Him to eat, to drink and to rest. i thought, "I wish all of us were like those kids. They open-heartedly received Jesus." the painter spent time with the children who belonged to a poor community. they were depived, neglected and abused. Sa 12 na batang nandun sa obra maestra, may kanya-kanya silang kwento. may kanya-kanyang paghihirap. may mga kanya-kanyang pangarap. then it hit me. there's something that Joey Velasco wants me to learn, to understand---that when we complain about having a difficult life, there are people, millions of them, out there who are suffering more than we are.

i was inspired by the effort of Velasco to show the Philippines, the whole world even, the message that WE CAN GIVE HOPE AND INSPIRATION TO THOSE IN DIRE NEED OF OUR HELP; that OUR FAITH IN GOD CAN SAVE US.

this experience was enough to answer all my questions. i can find true happiness by making other people see that there is light in every darkness. i made the right decision to join the Civic Welfare Training Service (CWTS) this year because it's an opportunity to discover that ONE THING that would probably, or perhaps surely, give meaning to my life. now the next time i go shopping, hindi na bags and shoes and bitbit ko but the stories of the people i have given hope to.


"Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle."
-God, Bruce Almighty

visit the painter's website on wwww.joeyvelasco.com